Dating in the Dark? No Thanks

Dating in the Dark is a new reality TV show (if by "reality TV" you mean "show that attempts to discover how shallow people are willing to act in front of millions of viewers who have nothing better to do with their time.) I haven't seen the show, but I have seen the commercials. Which is why I haven't seen the show. Well, that and the fact that occasionally I DO have a life.

From what I can glean from 30-second ads, the show features three men and three women who meet as a group in total darkness, then they arrange for individual dates also in the dark. Some of them apparently just chat the entire time while others take the opportunity to make out with a complete stranger who may or may not be Carrot Top (that would be my biggest nightmare).

Then they expose the contestants to each other under the harsh reality of fluorescent light and each must decide whether they want to see the other again now that they've seen their bad hair, hippie shoes, or birthmark shaped like the state of Texas. These decisions are made on the show, with a guy or a girl waiting on the patio to see whether or not he or she will be dumped. Because it's important that we all share in the humiliation and ego-deflation. Apparently these shows are produced by middle-schoolers. I'm suprised the dumpees aren't also given wedgies as the final credits roll.

It appears that the mean age of the contestants on this show is mid-twenties, which makes sense. Because if they were, say, in their 40s, the producers would have a hard time getting an hour-long show out of it. A typical "date" might go like this:

Midlife Woman: Wow, it really is dark in here.

Midlife Man: I like it. I have more hair in the dark.

MLW: And I DO NOT have a muffin top.

MLM: Wanna make out?

MLW: Sure, but don't tell my grandkids.

MLM: You have grandkids? Uh, cut!

Or, perhaps, this is equally likely:

MLW: So, what made you decide to come on this show? Did your wife dump you  for cheating on her and then you decided you should go ahead and play the field as long as you had some Viagra left, but the cute blonde receptionist at your periodontist's office laughed at you and called you a "Mougar"?

MLM: Yeah, but it was the dental hygenist...

MLW: I'm outta here.

It's not that midlife daters are picky, it's just that with age is supposed to come wisdom and surely part of that wisdom is knowing that someone you meet on a reality TV show filmed without lights will probably not live up to a very strict set of criteria. And once you've been married to or dated a sex addict, a meth dealer with a gambling problem, and Carrot Top, well, you tend to want to make sure that at least those items are checked off the list. I know I am.

If I were dating, I'd definitely demand the lights stay on -- despite the fact that I look younger in semi-darkness. Call me pick or call me wise. It's your choice.

Comments

[whey protein]

Hi...
Thanks for sharing. This is indeed a very nice show. I love to watch it.

[Alice Russel]

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[CAPlastic Surgeon]

This is too funny. I really do think reality shoes are created by middle schoolers.

[Air Jordan Shoes]

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