The Gumercise

On the advice of Dr. Oz and this guy I sat next to at the Department of Motor Vehicles, I've started adding flax seed to everything I eat. It's tasty sprinkled on cereal and baked into cookies (mmmh, cookies), but I have to say it's hard to get the seeds to stick to carrot sticks unless I slather them with cream cheese first. I'm sure that's heart-healthy, right?

One thing no one warned me about was that these tiny seeds may be good for my body, but they're hell on my gums. And I'm not just talking about a few flax stuck between random teeth (not a good look, but I could live with that).

The problem is, like many middle-aged people, I have flabby gums. The tight, firm gums that used to turn heads in college have been replaced by droopy, saggy things that shock my dentist when I show up at her office every three years. I'd go more often, but my self esteem suffers every time she uses a yardstick to measure just how deep the "gum pockets" areIt doesn't help that she calls out the numbers in the metric system.

Needless to say, with a virtual Carlsbad Cavern cave system under my teeth, it's easy for tiny seeds to get stuck in there. That is not to say I haven't also lost a piece of coconut, a chocolate chip, or a hiker, but those are big enough to floss out.

What I really need -- and I know I'm not alone here -- is some kind of exercise program to tighten up my sedentary gums. If you can work out your triceps and gluts, why not your gum line? I tried to develop such a program on my own, but apparently a 30-minute routine of smiling like a chimpanzee then puckering like a llama about to spit, is useless. Well, not entirely. I did make a few new friends on the bus.

If you're a dental professional looking for a way to boost business, please don't ignore the flabby-gummed. We need some kind of workout device and the Gumerciser may just be your ticket to a stint on the Home Shopping Network.

Comments

[Melanie]

You do realize you don't get the full benefit of flax until you grind it, right? I have an inexpensive small coffee grinder for this purpose. Not sure if flax seed is helping anything, but it's not hurting it either!

[womens health questions]

I also have problem with my gums. I hate when nuts stuck up on my gums. Sometimes, I use my fingers to rub my gums in order to circulate blood.