Just Cover the Mirror, It's Cheaper

Anyone who watches any television at all knows that women over 25 spend 95% of the their time trying to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkle and lengthen and restore their eyelashes. If I see Sarah Jessica Parker hawking anti-aging creams or that model with the shiny eyelashes that are long enough to get caught in her earrings one more time, I may just have to get Botox to rid myself of the semi-permanent scowl they've both caused.

I know we're all a little vain -- I DID comb my hair before leaving the house this morning and check to make sure my skirt was NOT tucked in my pantyhose -- but imagine if we freed up all that time to do more important things such as stalk BP executives until they fix the oil gush in the Gulf of Mexico, run for political office, or even just breathe. The world would be a much better place. And I imagine breathing probably would make our lashes grow too.

The oddest part is that every study shows that anti-aging creams don't work, yet there's a new one promising us miracles every few weeks or so. I'm tempted to bottle up some Oregon rain, toss in a little moss for color and authenticity, and sell it as an anti-aging mist. It sure does keep my skin moist through most of the fall and winter. And spring. And summer. And even though apparently we can grow new eyelashes (if we're willing to accept itching, redness, eye color change, and lashes that block our view when we put on glasses), why do we need to? Men our age have hair growing out of their ears and they seem okay with that.

I bet that all of these products include fossil fuel-based ingredients (and their packaging certainly does), so if we all stopped using them right now we'd save not only money and time, but help cut our addiction to oil. If you want to do your part to help save the planet, just toss a towel over the mirror if you must and make friends with people who could care less how deep your lines are or whether you have lashes long enough to swat away flies.

Comments

[CAPlastic Surgeon]

It is cheaper, but something can be said for not letting yourself go. You're blog reminds me of that comic strip Cathy.

[womens health questions]

yes I'm a little vain sometime but I don't waste my money for botox or any anti-aging cream. we do grow old but all we have to do is to feel young in everything we do. like we have to get away with stress. stress makes us old.